wheres the place for me, when you're inlove with her?

yesterday JJ hung himself and almost died. i was on the phone with jamie and she got a phone call sayin what happened. shes told me time and time again that if she lost JJ she'd kill herself. so she hung up on me and then IMed me and said goodbye. i balled my eyes out ran in my room and grabbed a bottle of pills. i stopped myself and grabbed a razor... i cut and then stopped and called britney. i told her what happened and we just sat there balling our eyes out. i didnt kno if i should be crying over jamie or JJ. once i found out that jamies mom was right next to her i really started crying over JJ. ive said so much shit about that kid that it just tore me up... i hoped to god that he was okay... turns out that he survived. THANK GOD! but i was regreting cuts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

jamie loves amanda, amanda loves jamie. so imma let them be... idk if jamies inlove with me so i guess i should just leave her alone. i wont tell her i love her, or i wanna be with her, nothing. if we are truely meant to be than she'll come to me. ive been crying all day because of this and i wanna die but imma be strong. hopefully she'll call. im out bye